New Mother Sonnet

I had to write a sonnet for creative writing and I wrote it about the birth of my child.

New Mother

The smell of disinfectant lingering in the air,

This wasn't my intention or my ideal plan.

Unfortunately I must submit now to the surgeons care,

Denied birthing a child to make me a real woman.

The needle is inserted and I lose most feeling.

My doctor cuts deeps so she can remove my little one.

Minutes seem to drag on as I gaze up at the ceiling.

I am ready now to see you my first born son.

I feel the tugging as they finally pull you out,

Gurgling sounds of the infant with his blue complexion.

Relief washes over me and alleviates all doubt.

I see you child laying there in all of your perfection.

Emotions run rapid, steady do they flow,

For now I am your mother, a guardian to you, my little boy*.

I had to change the last word of the sonnet due to the fact I used the real name of my son in the sonnet. 

When I was pregnant with my son I wanted so badly to have the most natural childbirth possible. I ended up going through a week of induction of labor because he was late and would not come out. Also I have anxiety and the doctor didn't like the idea of me having him in so late while I was stressing. After a week of induction the doctor said I had finally gotten to a point of dilation where I could be on pitocin. I was in labor for about 6 hours of intense pitocin induced labor while the doctors waited for my water to break. She finally decided that she was going to break my water because I was in a lot of pain between the back labor and the added pain from the medication. Unfortunately my son wouldn't drop so every time the doctor tried to break my water my son would push back into my ribs and refused to drop. That was when the doctor decided that I need to start getting prepped for surgery and have my son that night. It was my birthday so I wasn't thrilled that I was going through all that pain and now had to have surgery. I cried because I felt as though giving birth to a child was a right of passage as a woman and mother. I underwent the surgery and had my child pulled from my belly. Although I am sad because my pelvis isn't shaped right and I can never give birth to a child, I was so incredibly happy that moment they brought him to me and I knew that he was mine. I really was a mother and it was going to be all right. I also would share something special forever with my son because he was born on my birthday, scratch that, our birthday.