Date night was like a holiday for us. It came just once a week, but it was always something we looked forward to. Well until everything changed. This week seemed pretty special though because it was his idea since everything changed. However like everything else this magical night was shifting too.
It started out pretty much like any other date night. I drove down to see Castiel. He came out when I arrived and kissed me. It had been a few weeks since I felt his lips against mine and oh how I longed to feel that surge go through my entire body. His kiss has some kind of miracle effect on me. I literally get lost in them and forget exactly where I am or doing.
We went into his room and flirted a bit. We really started kissing too. It felt so nice. I could feel his warmth and him really holding onto me. It felt nice and for the first time in a few days I actually felt wanted. We caught our breaths and decided to go out for a ride to pick up some drinks.
I figured I had to drive an hour to see him, so I had him do the driving. I was sitting in his car enjoying the chauffeuring when I noticed that he had a bunch of cards in the pocket of his door. It made me smile because right there on top was a card that I had given him with an "I <3 U" all pretty like on the cover. I picked it up while commenting about the card when he got all weird. He grabbed the card and said that they were his and put it back in the side of the door. I was completely taken back. I mean I gave him the card so I didn't see what the big deal was.
That's when my head started turning. He obviously had some other cards in there that he didn't want me to see. I had always trusted him because he gave me no reason to not do so. But now all this secrecy was driving me crazy. He was so adamant about me not seeing those damn cards. The anxiety that I had been finally dealing with these last couple weeks was suddenly bubbling at the surface all over again.
He immediately noticed my sudden change in behaviors and the way I was holding myself. He joked about it and I swallowed the pain once more so that I could make the best of the situation that I was in. I of course continued out the night having a great time with him, but that little detail was in the back of mind and I just couldn't shake it.
Am I an idiot? Am I grasping at straws that aren't even there?
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