I started dating this guy about a year ago. He was everything different then what I was used to. I was used to possessive verbal abusive assholes, but he was different. He made me smile and he was so handsome. I could get lost in those gorgeous aquatic eyes of his. I always thought I had experienced real love, but then I fell in love with Castiel. I truly and deeply fell in love with him.
He has his own baggage. I mean doesn't everybody? He has an ex who happens to be his brothers wife and his best friend is a girl who is in love with him. Oh ya, sounds like a soap opera? Try living with it.
The ex is a special kind of bitch that still likes to try and get under his skin. She sends him texts telling Castiel that she misses him even though she is married to his friggen brother. It is already bad enough that she had an affair, but why not try and reel him in while he is in a committed relationship. I had my fair share of issues regarding her, but in the end I knew he was mine so that ever mattered to me.
The best friend. Oh the special best friend that has been a part of his life since he was about 12. Abaddon. Castiel actually referred to her as Fat Amy any time he talked about her because she was a very, very large blond girl. I once asked if they ever hooked up and he just shuddered and said "Oh hell no". He did tell me that she had asked him out a few times, but he always turned her down.
She did have this weird obsession with him though. She always got him jewelry with little inscriptions talking about true love and what not. I am not a possessive girlfriend though so I had no reason to get all crazy girlfriend on him and tell him that he couldn't talk to her. Besides, the only time he ever hung out with her was when she was with her niece.
About 2 months ago while I was at his house he told me that he was thinking about taking a break. Me, having the all or nothing attitude didn't want to accept that as an option. I mean in my head the only rational reason people take breaks is to go off and screw other people and it be okay. I was not going to accept that at all. His reasoning was that the winter was too difficult because we lived over an hour from each other and he wasn't a fan of the winter months anyway.
I truly believe that he suffers from type of seasonal disorder because I could sense a change once the winter came about. I already suffer from my own mental illness and didn't want to think that he suffered as well. Plus he was the most positive person I had ever met. The subtle shifts in his attitude hadn't been too obvious until I looked back and saw it.
His mind set had changed too. Open honesty had changed to brutal honesty. He told me that he found me to be a pretty girl, but I was much larger than any girl he had ever dated. My mind kicked into over drive. I had been saying for months that I wanted to lose weight, but found that I got comfortable in the relationship. I stopped trying to lose the weight I needed to feel healthy. It was in that moment I decided I needed change. A slow change, but a change nonetheless.
2 weeks ago I had met up with him with Gabriel. The afternoon was going pretty well, but I know Castiel and I know when he is lost in his own head. As we were sitting in my car I asked him to tell me what was going on. He told me that he was fine, but I let him know that I could tell something was up. He said that he didn't want to get into it and in that moment I knew. I asked him if he cheated on me and he said no. I asked him if he was breaking up with me and he said no to that too. Something was really wrong. My mouth got dry and the knot in my stomach double in size.
Abaddon decided that she wanted to destroy our relationship. She told Castiel that in a months time she was getting geriatric bypass surgery to get skinny and she was doing it all for him. She told him that she has been there for him for years and years and waiting to be with him. She couldn't get skinny on her own so she was getting this surgery because she was going to be beautiful for him and they were meant to be together. She was aware that he was in a relationship, but now it needed to end because she deserved to be with him and she deserved a chance.
What the fuck. I was crushed. I was lost. I couldn't eat and I could barely breath. I felt like a fist had made its way into my chest and had a tight grip around my heart. That was the day that everything changed.
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