Sometimes I get really tired of the way things are. I try so hard to be a fighter and to stay strong despite my constant want to just give up or that I can't stop feeling like I am not going to get my happily ever after. I just want to be back with Castiel so damn bad. People are constantly telling me that I am an idiot and that he is manipulating me, but I find that crazy. He has been nothing, but honest with me about everything since the beginning. He could have cheated on me and kept me in the dark, but he didn't. He chose to be honest with me from the beginning and tell me the situation. Abaddon is the one who came into our friggen lives and ruined everything. She is the one who is pretty much a damn home wrecker. I mean sure, Me and Castiel weren't exactly at the best point in our relationship but it was still me and him. Now it is me and it is him and there is her. I am setting him free and letting him do what he needs to do. Yes we are still dating and it has been almost a month and he has yet to even spend time with her, but still. It hurts. The not knowing. I was never a fan of new relationships and I feel like this is a new relationship. Yes we know we love each other, but this chick got under his skin and he feels as though he owes it to her. Blah. I really hope karma is real because she has something coming to her if she thinks she can just ruin a relationship. Oh well. He is still dating me and at this point in time she has no idea.
Okay I am done with my daily rant.
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